Memoirs are for everyone, not just the rich and famous
Writing a memoir is one of the most satisfying things you’ll ever do. Through it, not only will you reflect deeply on your life, memories and philosophy, but it’s an excellent chance to share your story with the world. Well, at least with your family.
Many people who consider doing this fall into two traps. Firstly, some don’t think their life justifies a memoir. This is, of course, nonsense. Over six decades or more you’ve accumulated a lot of stories, ideas and pearls of wisdom, to say nothing of mistakes, missed opportunities and, for most, some tragedy. The trick is to find a way to present that on the page.
Secondly, some people don’t think they’re able to write a book. Most people can write. To do so successfully simply requires learning and practice.
So, what is a memoir? It’s certainly not just a chronological recounting of your life. That’s an autobiography. Rather, a memoir focuses on specific themes, events or periods that have significantly shaped you. Perhaps the best way to think of it is a series of snapshots, like a photo album, with some words around each photo to share some thinking and, hopefully, inspire the reader.
Before you even sit down at your keyboard, ask yourself the purpose of what you’re doing. Are you hoping to pass down family history, share lessons learned or simply reflect on your life? Read some other memoirs to get a feel for what you’d like to achieve.
Once you have a clear purpose, choose a central theme. This could be anything from overcoming adversity to discovering your passion. Your theme will help you decide which stories to include and how to structure your memoir.
Next, avoid the trap of trying to write linearly. A book is around 50,000 words (minimum), and if you try to write all those words in order, starting from chapter one, expect to run into a wall and lose enthusiasm.
Instead, what you want to do is create an outline first to your memoir structure. List the key events and experiences you want to include and organise them in a logical order, whether chronological or thematic. This outline will serve as a roadmap, making the writing process more manageable.
When you begin writing, start with a story that is particularly meaningful to you. Don’t worry about making it perfect; the first draft is just that – a draft. Focus on capturing your voice and being honest about your experiences.
Use descriptive language to bring your stories to life, including dialogue to make your memoir more dynamic and relatable. Reflect on your experiences, exploring your feelings and insights. What did you learn from each experience? How did it shape who you are today?
Once you have a draft, take a break before you start editing. And this means a break of a few days or even weeks. It’s important because time gives perspective. When you then come back to read through what you’ve written you’re going to have all kinds of ideas about how to improve it.
Don’t fear the red pen. Feel free to totally re-write sections, cut anything that isn’t working, and if the flow isn’t quite right from sentence to sentence, paragraph to paragraph, think about what might need to be re-ordered or added to.
Give yourself a few drafting rounds like this. Once you get to the third or fourth draft, it’s time to get some other people’s thoughts on what you’ve written.
This can be scary, as you’re putting a lot of yourself out there for people to read and critique, but sharing your memoir with others can provide valuable insights. Ask friends or family for feedback. Consider joining a writing group or hiring a professional editor. Constructive criticism can help you refine your memoir to improve it.
After incorporating feedback, give your memoir a final polish. Check for grammar and spelling errors, and ensure your writing is clear and concise. Pay attention to the flow, making sure your theme is evident.
Then it’s time to publish. If you just want to get the book out there for a few people to read, then you might want to consider self-publishing. You can upload your book as an e-book to services such as Amazon for reading on an e-reader for almost nothing.
On the other hand, if you’d like to make some money from your work, then submit your work to publishers. You might want to contact a literary agent first as they can significantly smooth the process towards publication.
Still need help. The National Association of Memoir Writers offers various resources – free and otherwise – to help you better learn memoir writing. These resources can provide the framework, skills and support needed to overcome any obstacles.
Don’t miss this opportunity to look back on your life, appreciate the experiences that have shaped you and share your story with others. It’s an excellent way to reflect on a life (hopefully) well lived.